blindly finding my relation to this kindly binding creation

[confliction]

*chews on some Ice Breakers chewing gum...
...Wintergreen flavour... i mean...
...flavor.*

- - - - - - - -

I think i'm hopefully going through some interesting times in my life...
...both physically (no jokes :P)...
...mentally...
...and even socially, but i guess the mental bit affects that.

Sorry to blow my own trumpet,
but i kinda predicted my third year in Uni will be my 'time'.
Although i do concede...
...nothing has turned out how i'd ever imagined!

I guess that's why 'general' predictions are more accurate ;)

To give some examples, i'd say i'm finally realising the...
...'way' of things.
Don't get me wrong, i'm still lost, lol.
I just realise it's all, really, up to me...
...where i go...
...what i do...
...things like these.

It really struck me when i thought about how children are brought up,
and then cast off into society to find their own feet...
...find their own way through 'life'.
I was looking at humans for what they are...
...animals.
It's interesting stuff.
We've just got this thing called 'consciousness' to tackle.

I think it might boil down to the fact that we realise our existence,
or at least that we exist,
but think too much about it from the outside,
'placing' ourselves outside of it...
...above it in many respects...
...but we are as much a part of things as a stone.

I'm now trying to look from the inside out,
not the outside in.
Sure, looking from outside the box has probably taught me a lot,
it's time to start being who i am.

Like most things in life though, i find, it's probably a balance of the two.

- - - - - - - -

You crazy monkey...
...covered in death...
...when will you learn...
...this is your hair.

- - - - - - - -

I cut my hair on Wednesday, by myself i might add.
Seems to of turned out pretty well,
again...
...if i do say so myself :P
No, seriously, people like it, and really,
it's not much different from how it was when i came to Uni.

Gone around in a full circle?
Who knows?
But I learnt a lot along the way :)

- - - - - - - -

Spiralling up,
or spiralling down?
I know it's the centre,
i'm spiralling around.

- - - - - - - -

So... what are my plans now?
Well, gotta get a couple of courseworks done,
and an Essay by the 1st of April.
Then i'll be tackling more courseworks, essays,
plus some lovely revision for two exams after the holiday.

That's the 'school' side of things.

The future?
Well, truly, who knows?

Rather than divulge all,
i'll let you all enjoy my future unravel,
i'm sure i will ;)

Might be going paintballing soon,
on my birthday no less, but that was coincidence.

My brother is definately coming up to visit too,
should be interesting :)

- - - - - - - -

Love hates what Hate loves

- - - - - - - -

Not much else to say really,
I'll let you get on with your lives :)
Take care of yourselves,
and here's some more 'on-the-spot' poetry...
...cause i know you love it :P

- - - - - - - -

Past mistakes cause false starts,
In future parts that taint your heart,
As histories stories ending fast,
Re-write the pattern in the stars,
Let go of what you think you are,
Scrap the script and re-hire the cast,
Cause you're no longer strapped inside a car,
You're flying as far as your hearts desire.

Comments

[greenhayze.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking quite a bit about child development as well. It is very interesting, almost, no matter what angle you approach it from.