Equilibriated Chaos

[Chorus - unfortunately]
Gave my heart to you lioness,
From the start you couldn't care less,
The wounds you carried drove you through,
But i would rather it be me than you.

Forever and a day goes by,
When i don't dream & wondering why,
I wasn't first to fuck you up,
The beast in me is just a pup.

Chorus.

Promise is our best kept secret,
Real lies fly beside our egret,
In the company of a stranger man,
Doing things that maybe i can.

Chorus.

Only gave you courage to go,
Get fucked up hope no one knows,
That deep inside your careless heart,
Is the love i desired from the start.

Chorus.

They took from you what you give for free,
So you cut yourself releasing me,
Holding tight and hoping you do too,
Shedding tears of fools i'm over you.

+ Chorus repeats until repeating last line ad infinitum to fade.

- - - -

Meh.

October. I will have a place to call my own in October. Is there light, at the end of this tunnel?

Or merely mine own eyes, looking back?

Perhaps my work will carry me state-side, in time...

- - - -

Contemplating the boundaries of Paradox that behold us.

- - - -

Awakening from a dreamless sleep, transported through time.

- - - -

10 hours of bass fiddling.
0.1% of 10,000 hours complete.

- - - -

Atrophying entropically.

- - - -

A mould settles on undisturbed features.
A bed companion that elopes ones lungs.
Chokingly soft. Slowly. Coughed.
A trillion creatures where a nose once hung.
Vying for recognition among those that have none.
Held aloft. The cold metal sung.
A warm glow. Blossom's blankets fall.
Beckoning renewal. Passion might grow.

21 months. 21 months i've been absent. Absent mindedly surviving. A feat i'm sure is only possible in this forsaken society.

Is this the length of time for full recovery? 66+ percent recovery? Has my struggled seated restraint finally driven the captive so frenzied with frustration that waves of fatigue become a wake of willpower behind me?

- - - -

Am i ready to accept that i will never be ready?

- - - -

Snow finally touches ground. The mind boggles at the crowds casual acceptance of the climate's chaos. Repetitive forays into the familiar patterns of flagrant frivolity belie the malaise of the ill-prepared, ill-equipped, or merely ill-at-ease.

- - - -

Max capacity means little to those left standing.

- - - -

Dreams have been wrought unto idle thoughts. Listlessness has driven the navigator to ceaselessly seek connection between gestalt and grounding. Switch engages potential release.

- - - -

20 minutes into the future.

- - - -

Must... maintain... momentum...

- - - -

-) Acquire vaporizer and dream herbs + seeds. Grow.

-) Keep writing implements and torch next to futon.

-) Exercise at least once a week.

-) Listen to your body.

-) Begin project 'Evert'.

-) Continue project 'Debris'.

-) Resume project 'Bass'.

-) Grow.

- - - -

Stirred... not shaken.

I have codes for http://www.dreamwidth.org if anyone would like one?

I'm going to be slowly moving there over the next few years... it's basically how livejournal used to be before it 'sold out'... with everything that that has taught us.

Basically, it's the height of awesome and you should get on board before it goes nuclear!