No-one... nothing... only music will save me now.

[confliction]

Went to Caz's last night on a sleepover, which was kinda cool. Watched some good films, talked a bit, gave me something to do! Which is good!

I got these Doritoes which said on them 'With a hint of Chilli'. DAMN MAN, they're hot! Oh well... they're nice too! :P

I went to Stevenage today to try and buy some clothes, but I didn't get anything cause there was nothin there that was any good. I also think trying to buy t-shirts during winter is not gonna work... but i can try!

I did buy two Albums though, and they're both really good! Which is nice :) I got Static-X's 'Machine' and Creed's 'Weathered'. Got a bunch of great songs to listen to now... something new for my brain to absorb before it gets bored with them too. I think i'm eventually gonna die of boredom...

I got offers from Leeds though, BBC on both the courses I applied for in Leeds. I'm absolutely not overjoyed, like most people seem to be when they get offers. I doubt I'll get the required grades... I'm too dumb... well, not dumb, but I don't want to do school work anymore. I've never revised properly in my life anyways... I can't revise... don't know how... and its not just 'not knowing'. My brain hasn't been trained to learn by revision. I either 'get it' or i don't.

Going to Camden has revived my 'chain wearing' thang... which will also give me something to do... until again, I get bored...

my life feels so empty.

I'm really beginning to think that these next few months will be the last few months I'm gonna spend with my friends and family. Facing reality, I realise that I'm not going to get into University, so I'm going to have to join the army after my exams. Hopefully i'll be operational by 2003, and before any major war breaks out. Then I can go and serve in the middle east. I was born to fight, I can feel it. I'm so fucking good with a gun. I have the right kinda build, I'm tall, I can get fit. My reflexes are cool. I can survive ages without eating. The thought of eating insects intrigues me, rather than disgusts me. I want to spend days waist... no... neck deep in swamps. I'm resistant to cold and heat. I want to survive...

Comments

JJ's saviour is music... each to their own I guess

[beanybeany.livejournal.com]

Oi, mon, it seems you survive alright without doing it in a swap :p
Silly JJ doesn't like to repeat the same thing over and over again in order to learn it. Dang it, you CAN do it, get good grades and crap.
Sounds like you are reaching the end of yourself. Tis interesting. Hope you feel better.

hmm...

[popsickle.livejournal.com]

I know what yew mean...my life is empty too, once school is over, so is, well my life, i dunno what to do...ech...i'm sure you will get the grades, you are clever, i'm just bored to hell of the dumb work we have to do, at least with a job you don't have to do any work in your free time :/...i'm gonna miss my friends and family, it's invetiable that you lose touch with friends, it always happens...mwah i'm sounding really um, well not helpful...sawry...but music is a big part in my life too, dunno where i'd be without it, screwed, un able to express my emotions yadada i sound like such a typical angsty teen here, but its troooo....*rambles on* um okay i gotta go get ready for work now, bye bye....

Re: hmm...

[confliction.livejournal.com]

:)

don't keep doubting what you say...

...i know exactly what you mean!

[yellowjellybaby.livejournal.com]

am i the only one that is actually going to enjoy going to uni?

Re:

[confliction.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I'll enjoy Uni... IF i can get in...

Re:

[yellowjellybaby.livejournal.com]

yeah ya willl...