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conflictionThis will be the first proper post since Glastonbury.
I was pretty torn up inside, after some messed up romantic encounter that I screwed up...
...again.
Anyhow, I'm over that now.
Hence my re-appearance, I guess.
So, what's happened?
How was Glastonbury?
Well, it was pretty fucking amazing, let me tell thee.
I saw Lost Prophets, the main band I wanted to see, and they rocked so so SO much.
Ian, the lead singer, reminded me of Joey, in the way he looks.
It was an odd thought I had while I was standing 5 people from the front (by choice) and pretty much dead centre.
I got there early to get the spot.
Was a mad experience, and I went under too, lol.
Lost my trainer and was swimming through all these people to get it back.
I grabbed it and looked up at all these faces looking down at me.
Was funny as hell...
...well, I thought :D
Anyhow... the mystery was why they covered a song from another band.
It's all a bit hazy now, so i've forgotten who and what song, lol.
Was still good though.
Other bands I saw were, in no particular order:
Jetplane Landing
Muse
Snowpatrol
Franz Ferdinand
ummm... i'm only listing good ones... lol.
enough of that crap.
I was standing, on my own...
...something I spent a lot of time doing...
...watching...hmmm...oasis?
I dunno, it's irrelevant.
This guy started saying random stuff to me,
trying to start conversation I guess.
It must be said I'm not used to the Glastonbury atmosphere,
apparently you can talk to anyone and meet loads of new people.
I, however, spent most of my time alone,
in a place containing over 110,000 people,
also in a place where I knew at least 10 people...
but managed to meet 2 new people.
Anyways... I keep digressing.
There some guys with a megaphone saying random, sometimes funny stuff.
The guy talking to me (Wayne) said the annoying thing was that they were funny, but a pain in the ass too.
Then this chain of girls winds its way through the crowd, and Wayne goes 'look, pussy train'.
And those were the two things he said to me.
I wasn't really interested...
...until...
a little while later i noticed him trying to stick two small skins together...
...I hesitated a bit, but finally gave in, mainly because it was painful watching someone attempt something that is difficult enough to do sitting down and indoors, and offered him some king skins.
Cut a long story short...
...I got stoned with someone who turned out to be an off duty security guard, and we talked about what a great atmosphere there was and about his job, and who he's caught, blah blah blah.
Basically, it was pretty surreal.
Moving on!
Infact, screw Glastonbury, I'll go again next year and it'll be better.
- - - - - - - -
We moved house, which was... bollox, to say the least.
Jim took all the crap out of his room and his dad helped us shift most of everything in the house to the new house, which, yeah, did help.
But then he scarpered back to Holland.
Liz cleaned her room and the bathroom, but was working.
Ali is in Bahrain.
So I happily... yes, strangely enough... happily undertook the cleaning of the rest of the house, including Jims and Alis bedrooms.
It took me... 2 days.
That's 2 days pretty damn solid work.
Never again I tell you... never.
Well, not this year anyway.
- - - - - - - -
So, I was looking for a job other than working in the breadfactory,
although to be honest I'm warming to it now.
I'm still refusing to work two days in a row though,
thats just rediculous.
The people there are really friendly,
even though I'm in Hull, and its a shit job.
I thought it'd be full of scallies...
...but I guess they collect unemployment benefits, its easier.
I really did talk a lot on the Sunday just gone, and found out all about where they've come from, where they want to go.
Very intelligent people it seems, and have very respectable dreams.
One of them, out of two I asked, said they'd vote for me if I was to have a manifesto that included putting the UK in a national state of emergency and rationed food and work out among the masses.
That was nice :)
Anyways, big diversion.
I was looking for other jobs, applied to the Co-Op...
...cause I like the idea of Co-Operative businesses...
...and I have experience stacking shelves.
What more do I need?
Oh, other than the cute checkout girls :P
They already hired though, but I'm on the list.
I worked for a day with Liz as a painter and decorator...
...which reminds me, I've gotta phone them and ask for my cheque.
Anyway, we fell out big time under the stressful environment.
Well, I say stressful... Liz was stressed, I found it pretty amusing.
She can't give orders, and even when I double check them, its still my fault for carrying them out when they are fucking wrong.
Then she used a little wooden table to stand on, cause she didn't want to ask me for the good chair. So it collapsed.
lol.
She can't admit when she's wrong.
It really has affected our friendship, and shown me many sides of her I don't particularly want to see again.
Some days later she asked if I was going to call her boss and work for them.
I said I had thought about it, and figured it wasn't worth putting our friendship under the pressure.
I thought that was quite nice of me.
But for some reason she thought it was... I dunno... mandatory?...
...to say something like the following:
"Well, can I just say that the job does require... more... common sense... if you know what I mean... whereas... your more.... an academic person."
Ummm, how about you shut the hell up?
Firstly... having common sense and being academic... is not a dichotomy.
Secondly, you're slagging me off, and revealing what you really think about me.
Thirdly... you still think I fucked up and you did no wrong?
Even though, the first thing you told to do that day you also got WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG WRONG WRONG.
I had to paint some post things that hold banisters on stairs.
We had to undercoat them in mat, and then overcoat in gloss.
She opened a tin and painted a bit of the first post.
When she asks you if you can do something, and you're not sure, a simple explanation will suffice.
She treats you like a retard, and goes the whole slog, showing you and constantly saying 'ok?' 'like this'... and other crap.
Anyways, funny thing was...
...she was undercoating in Gloss.
- - - - - - - -
So, after sorting out many problems with the new house...
...with some more problems to go...
...I've slowly sunk back into a world I feel more comfortable with.
It's called 'Jamie's world'.
Where I do what I like.
Except when Liz comes home everyday and asks
"What did you do today?"
But you know...
...more in the tone of "What did YOU do today?"
A tone that isn't really interested what you did, more interested in what you didn't do...
...actually, more interested in the fact that you could never live up to her standards.
One day I'll say... "Fuck all, and it was amazing. I had no mess to clean up after you, no food covered sponge to rinse out everytime I need to use it, no sink full of shit, no food over the sides, no hassle from your problems and stress, created by the life you seem to strive for, but never seem to enjoy. I slept for hours, woke up and sat on my butt for hours more, and enjoyed every fucking minute of it."
Not that that's how my days go, I get stuff done.
Just at a much more relaxed pace :)
- - - - - - - -
It's all pouring out eh?
Well, that's enough for now.
I currently spend my time...
...playing Natural Selection,
playing and getting involved in Nation States, a web-based game,
thinking too much,
listening to way too much music,
feeling kinda lonely...
...but kinda being reassured that its better this way.
Who knows what the future holds for me relationship-wise?
I mean...who'd wanna go out with a dysfunctional fuck-wit like myself anyway?
I'm not being self-pittying, I'm being realistic.
It'll be a really tough job for anyone to break this cookie.
Not only would they have to be clinically insane,
but they'd have to be happy living a life that's going to be pretty dull, lol.
A life that is far from secure.
A life that will be gambled, and gambled some more.
A life that has many possibilities,
yet...promises to ultimately go nowhere.
They'd probably have to be ok with my views on life, and me debating with everything they say, feel, think or do.
What the fuck am I doing?
Oh yeah...earning money to pay my rent and buy myself some food and buy a new wardrobe and get a rowing machine and join the Uni newspaper team and write a 15,000 word dissertation on the most difficult philosophical topic the senior lecturer can think of, cause I'll ask her to.
anything else?
Ummm...oh yeah... buy some socks.
I was pretty torn up inside, after some messed up romantic encounter that I screwed up...
...again.
Anyhow, I'm over that now.
Hence my re-appearance, I guess.
So, what's happened?
How was Glastonbury?
Well, it was pretty fucking amazing, let me tell thee.
I saw Lost Prophets, the main band I wanted to see, and they rocked so so SO much.
Ian, the lead singer, reminded me of Joey, in the way he looks.
It was an odd thought I had while I was standing 5 people from the front (by choice) and pretty much dead centre.
I got there early to get the spot.
Was a mad experience, and I went under too, lol.
Lost my trainer and was swimming through all these people to get it back.
I grabbed it and looked up at all these faces looking down at me.
Was funny as hell...
...well, I thought :D
Anyhow... the mystery was why they covered a song from another band.
It's all a bit hazy now, so i've forgotten who and what song, lol.
Was still good though.
Other bands I saw were, in no particular order:
Jetplane Landing
Muse
Snowpatrol
Franz Ferdinand
ummm... i'm only listing good ones... lol.
enough of that crap.
I was standing, on my own...
...something I spent a lot of time doing...
...watching...hmmm...oasis?
I dunno, it's irrelevant.
This guy started saying random stuff to me,
trying to start conversation I guess.
It must be said I'm not used to the Glastonbury atmosphere,
apparently you can talk to anyone and meet loads of new people.
I, however, spent most of my time alone,
in a place containing over 110,000 people,
also in a place where I knew at least 10 people...
but managed to meet 2 new people.
Anyways... I keep digressing.
There some guys with a megaphone saying random, sometimes funny stuff.
The guy talking to me (Wayne) said the annoying thing was that they were funny, but a pain in the ass too.
Then this chain of girls winds its way through the crowd, and Wayne goes 'look, pussy train'.
And those were the two things he said to me.
I wasn't really interested...
...until...
a little while later i noticed him trying to stick two small skins together...
...I hesitated a bit, but finally gave in, mainly because it was painful watching someone attempt something that is difficult enough to do sitting down and indoors, and offered him some king skins.
Cut a long story short...
...I got stoned with someone who turned out to be an off duty security guard, and we talked about what a great atmosphere there was and about his job, and who he's caught, blah blah blah.
Basically, it was pretty surreal.
Moving on!
Infact, screw Glastonbury, I'll go again next year and it'll be better.
- - - - - - - -
We moved house, which was... bollox, to say the least.
Jim took all the crap out of his room and his dad helped us shift most of everything in the house to the new house, which, yeah, did help.
But then he scarpered back to Holland.
Liz cleaned her room and the bathroom, but was working.
Ali is in Bahrain.
So I happily... yes, strangely enough... happily undertook the cleaning of the rest of the house, including Jims and Alis bedrooms.
It took me... 2 days.
That's 2 days pretty damn solid work.
Never again I tell you... never.
Well, not this year anyway.
- - - - - - - -
So, I was looking for a job other than working in the breadfactory,
although to be honest I'm warming to it now.
I'm still refusing to work two days in a row though,
thats just rediculous.
The people there are really friendly,
even though I'm in Hull, and its a shit job.
I thought it'd be full of scallies...
...but I guess they collect unemployment benefits, its easier.
I really did talk a lot on the Sunday just gone, and found out all about where they've come from, where they want to go.
Very intelligent people it seems, and have very respectable dreams.
One of them, out of two I asked, said they'd vote for me if I was to have a manifesto that included putting the UK in a national state of emergency and rationed food and work out among the masses.
That was nice :)
Anyways, big diversion.
I was looking for other jobs, applied to the Co-Op...
...cause I like the idea of Co-Operative businesses...
...and I have experience stacking shelves.
What more do I need?
Oh, other than the cute checkout girls :P
They already hired though, but I'm on the list.
I worked for a day with Liz as a painter and decorator...
...which reminds me, I've gotta phone them and ask for my cheque.
Anyway, we fell out big time under the stressful environment.
Well, I say stressful... Liz was stressed, I found it pretty amusing.
She can't give orders, and even when I double check them, its still my fault for carrying them out when they are fucking wrong.
Then she used a little wooden table to stand on, cause she didn't want to ask me for the good chair. So it collapsed.
lol.
She can't admit when she's wrong.
It really has affected our friendship, and shown me many sides of her I don't particularly want to see again.
Some days later she asked if I was going to call her boss and work for them.
I said I had thought about it, and figured it wasn't worth putting our friendship under the pressure.
I thought that was quite nice of me.
But for some reason she thought it was... I dunno... mandatory?...
...to say something like the following:
"Well, can I just say that the job does require... more... common sense... if you know what I mean... whereas... your more.... an academic person."
Ummm, how about you shut the hell up?
Firstly... having common sense and being academic... is not a dichotomy.
Secondly, you're slagging me off, and revealing what you really think about me.
Thirdly... you still think I fucked up and you did no wrong?
Even though, the first thing you told to do that day you also got WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG WRONG WRONG.
I had to paint some post things that hold banisters on stairs.
We had to undercoat them in mat, and then overcoat in gloss.
She opened a tin and painted a bit of the first post.
When she asks you if you can do something, and you're not sure, a simple explanation will suffice.
She treats you like a retard, and goes the whole slog, showing you and constantly saying 'ok?' 'like this'... and other crap.
Anyways, funny thing was...
...she was undercoating in Gloss.
- - - - - - - -
So, after sorting out many problems with the new house...
...with some more problems to go...
...I've slowly sunk back into a world I feel more comfortable with.
It's called 'Jamie's world'.
Where I do what I like.
Except when Liz comes home everyday and asks
"What did you do today?"
But you know...
...more in the tone of "What did YOU do today?"
A tone that isn't really interested what you did, more interested in what you didn't do...
...actually, more interested in the fact that you could never live up to her standards.
One day I'll say... "Fuck all, and it was amazing. I had no mess to clean up after you, no food covered sponge to rinse out everytime I need to use it, no sink full of shit, no food over the sides, no hassle from your problems and stress, created by the life you seem to strive for, but never seem to enjoy. I slept for hours, woke up and sat on my butt for hours more, and enjoyed every fucking minute of it."
Not that that's how my days go, I get stuff done.
Just at a much more relaxed pace :)
- - - - - - - -
It's all pouring out eh?
Well, that's enough for now.
I currently spend my time...
...playing Natural Selection,
playing and getting involved in Nation States, a web-based game,
thinking too much,
listening to way too much music,
feeling kinda lonely...
...but kinda being reassured that its better this way.
Who knows what the future holds for me relationship-wise?
I mean...who'd wanna go out with a dysfunctional fuck-wit like myself anyway?
I'm not being self-pittying, I'm being realistic.
It'll be a really tough job for anyone to break this cookie.
Not only would they have to be clinically insane,
but they'd have to be happy living a life that's going to be pretty dull, lol.
A life that is far from secure.
A life that will be gambled, and gambled some more.
A life that has many possibilities,
yet...promises to ultimately go nowhere.
They'd probably have to be ok with my views on life, and me debating with everything they say, feel, think or do.
What the fuck am I doing?
Oh yeah...earning money to pay my rent and buy myself some food and buy a new wardrobe and get a rowing machine and join the Uni newspaper team and write a 15,000 word dissertation on the most difficult philosophical topic the senior lecturer can think of, cause I'll ask her to.
anything else?
Ummm...oh yeah... buy some socks.