hiding my cries while i vent white lies

[confliction]

i dunno...
...deep down i feel, messed up
but i'm telling everyone i'm alright,
because, well, i don't know how to articulate how i feel.
i don't think anyone could say anything that would help anyhow.

- - - - - - - -

i'm officially broke,
although my housemate will give me money he owes me soon.
this agency i work for phoned me this morning,
at about half 8, i was asleep and didn't pick it up in time.
it takes me a while to get my act together these days.
i phoned them at 6pm, lol, and they wanted me to work tonight,
but i don't have safety shoes...
...don't have the money to buy them either.
i have to phone the office tomorrow and ask them if they have any.
then they'll sell them to me, and deduct the money from my paycheck.

bleh.

at least i'll be able to work.
will be tomorrow night, from 6pm to 6am.
lol!

- - - - - - - -

i had a pretty good day yesterday,
a mate came back to uni to pick up his stuff,
so we hung out at his place for ages and watched 3 movies...
...Cube
Donnie Darko
and for light entertainment
American Pie.
we tried some columbian and thai mushrooms too,
was an interesting experience,
although he was disappointed with the effects...
...kept apologising, lol.
it was all good!

Glastonbury is gonna rock so much!
i cannot wait to see Lost Prophets!
we're gonna camp in the fields of lost vagueness,
lol!
sounds like my kinda area.

plus, like, in the leftfield area, Jetplane Landing are playing,
which will be cool, cause they rock too
and Naomi Klein will be giving a talk/debate kinda thing.
i think i should go to that and see if i can give my two cents worth.

- - - - - - - -

i'm supposed to be helping my housemate carry some boxes back from PC World,
but i've got a horrible feeling he's being weird.
he said he'd text if it's closed...
...but will he text if it's open?
heh... well, whatever.

- - - - - - - -

anyways, i got back from Robs, the guy i watched the movies with,
and another Rob, lol, was at ours, haven't properly met him...
...but he was having some crisis, and was contemplating leaving the country.
long story... and it's his story, so... tough :)

anyhow, he left, and i went online,
then Jimbo, my housemate, wanted to watch Oceans Eleven,
but didn't end up doing so.
then he offered to make me some rice,
which was nice :P
just ate it plain, its good stuff.

then we argued until the early hours of the morning...
...i think it was constructive.
near the end he was like...
'ok, don't say anymore about this subject, you've given me too much to think about'
lol.

it's weird though... like...
...right and wrong...
...truth and falsity...
...who's to tell?

i'm not saying i was right,
but it really worried me when he said his way was the ONLY way.
sorry i'm not divulging what we argued about,
it's very personal to him.
basically i disagreed with his views on love,
and i especially disagreed with his solutions.

i dunno.

i really don't know.

sorry to refer to the lost prophets song again,
but the song 'i don't know'...
...rocks :)
as does the rest of the album.
hehe.
i'm gonna watch Donnie Darko again tonight.

layturs :)

Comments

[hentaiko.livejournal.com]

*hug*. manly hug, of course ;)


:P

[confliction.livejournal.com]

thx man :)
yeah, of course ;)

ooohhh... you were stopping me doing inuendo!
gotchya :P

Layturs
~JJ~

[popsickle.livejournal.com]

*Hugs too*
I hope you feel better!
Donnie Darko rules!
Mushrooms scare me...i dunno...don't like do bad things to people? Like change them forever? I heard so much badness, i wont do them, and i dont want Tom to. What r they like tho? Take care!
<3 Me xxx

[confliction.livejournal.com]

thankya :)
i'm feelin better today, much better!
Donnie kicks butt! :D
i think if you abuse mushrooms they'll mess you up, like anything else on this planet. check out www.erowid.org for some cool independent information on, well, everything, lol.
the ones i tried didn't have the strong effects they're supposed to, but it was a good high, pretty much like weed i reckon... except on the 'up' you have waves of nausea, well, i did.
like with any other substance, like the come down with weed makes you depressed, i think the come-down from the mushrooms made me feel like i did yesterday... but now i feel great :)
anyhow, i won't talk you into anything... all things have different effects on different people.
just remember to take care of yourself ;)
layturs!
xxJJxx

[popsickle.livejournal.com]

Ahhh okies, i've just read some fucked up shit about then ya know, and it kinda scares me! I don't want tom or me to change and becomes weirrrrd, ah well! I'm glad you're better dude! <3

[confliction.livejournal.com]

just like, cause i have to say what's on my mind, philosophically...
lol
if there can be change for the worse, there can also be change for the better
*shrug*
but totally don't try them if you fear them...
...that wouldn't be good.
take care :)
xxJJxx